How To Start Unlocking The Person You Want To Be: The Art Of Being Misunderstood By Shrek
"Always stick to what makes you weird, odd, strange, different. That's your source of power." - Robert Greene
The amount of times I’ve watched Shrek is borderline criminal. But can you blame me though? If you’ve watched Shrek then you’ll get why. If you happen to somehow be a part of the one percent that hasn’t do yourself a favor by scheduling a day off, have a couple of snacks by your side preferably some lightly salted Lays and a Kit Kat (because we all need a break sometimes) and watch the big green ogre, I guarantee you’ll understand why Shrek Is Love Shrek Is Life.
There’s so much to love about Shrek and I could wax lyrical about him but two things I love about him are how misunderstood he is and what he teaches about the value of being misunderstood.
Shrek The Unspoken Leader Of The Outcasts.
Shrek’s entire character and journey throughout the movie is centered around the idea of being misunderstood. In the opening scene of the movie you are introduced to what Shrek’s life is all about.
“They judge me before they know me” - Shrek
Here you see an ogre who is constantly judged, ridiculed, has people terrified running in the opposite direction at the sight of him and hunting him down in the middle of the night with sharp pitchforks. And it all because of his appearance. No one ever takes the time to understand the ogre and who he is and you see in some of his dialogue with other characters that he longs to be understood.
Despite the constant judgement he faces, he’s happy living life in solitude as an ogre in a swamp away from society. He even seems at peace with the judgements he’s always subjected to.
The beauty about Shrek’s journey as this misunderstood ogre is how he unknowingly becomes the rescuer of other outcasts, misfits and misunderstood characters. You witness it first in his friendship with Donkey, whom he rescued after he tried to run away from Lord Farquaad’s guards.
Then with the fairytale creatures who were banished to Shrek’s swamp by Lord Farquaad. And Shrek’s swamp later turning out to be a community and refuge for the fairytale creatures. The fairytale creatures even come to Shrek’s aid in the following Shrek movies highlighting Shrek’s importance as the voice of the misunderstood.
He rescued princess Fiona who was also an outcast from her captivity in the Dragon’s Keep.
What’s quite poetic about Shrek’s rescue of princess Fiona was that Fiona was cast away by her parents to the tower of the Dragon’s Keep because of a curse that turned her into an ogre after sunset. In hindsight Shrek and princess Fiona lives are similar both were cast aside by society for being ogres. Their romance is a testament to how misunderstood they are.
After rescuing Fiona, Fiona was shocked that her rescuer wasn’t a handsome knight or prince but rather an ogre. There’s a scene on their return journey in the forest where Fiona impresses Shrek and Donkey (mostly Shrek) with her martial arts skills by fighting off Robin Hood and his bandits showing Shrek that there’s more to her than being a typical princess. Later on in their budding romance they have a falling out because of a misunderstanding after Shrek overheard a part of the conversation between Fiona and Donkey in which Fiona asks “who could ever love a beast so hideous and ugly” (the beast being herself after she turned into an ogre) but Shrek believing Fiona was talking about him.
What was beautiful about their romance despite the misunderstandings and initial judgements they fell in love with each other because of what they saw on the inside of the other. They helped each other grow and understand themselves. Shrek helped Fiona accept and embrace her ogre self and Fiona helped Shrek see that he’s capable of love, vulnerability and being understood by someone else.
What You Need To Understand About Being Misunderstood From The Playbook of Shrek?
Shrek depicts the pain and beauty of being misunderstood in it’s full capacity. When you are misunderstood it can be painful. And it’s painful because you have a longing to be understood. For someone or people to just “get you”. To get your story, your goals, your dreams, your flaws and strengths.
Life would be a lot simpler if everyone was able to decipher the complex being that you are without judgement. But the unfortunate reality is 1)being misunderstood is a part and parcel of life 2) humans are weird complex beings who are wired to judge by default.
So not everyone will get you or take the time to listen to your story. Most will categorize you based on their first impressions of you. Some will still go against you because you don’t fall into whatever narrative of life they’ve built in their heads. Then there’s the thing where you are unable to meet people’s expectations of you ( remember how you’ve disappointed your parents).
It’s a tough ask to want to be understood when most don’t even understand themselves. So being understood is not all as glamorous as it made out to be. And if you happen to find people who get you, hold and cherish those individuals like a rare gemstone. But if you want to live a different life that aligns with who you are and doesn’t conform to societal expectations.
If you want to carve your own path and discover your true purpose. If you want to be like Shrek, rescue a donkey and become best friends with the donkey, fight off a dragon, save a princess, fall in love and marry the princess, and live happily ever after in a swamp, then you got to be okay with taking being misunderstood on the chin. And once you embrace being misunderstood a life of freedom and potential greatness awaits you.
What Happens When You Embrace Being Misunderstood?
“ To be great is to be misunderstood”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When you become okay with being misunderstood, the magic of your life comes alive. You start unlocking a life of freedom and confidence. You live with less worry about the opinions and judgements of others. You grow into the person you are meant to be because you are more in tune with your heart and mind.
And this only increases your authenticity making you more appealing to a wider variety of people. People start gravitating towards you because of your authentic energy. You a breath of fresh air to them and you’ll find most of the love you receive from these people is genuine.
Shrek had all kinds of characters coming into his life. He had a talking donkey who later became his best friend, a princess who became his true love, fairytale creatures and a dragon all come into his life. And all those characters loved Shrek for who he was.
People also tend to leave you alone. Loneliness is frowned upon. And I get why but periods of loneliness can be beneficial. Always being in the company of people can drain your mental and physical energy, and you need times alone to work on yourself and focus on the things that matter in moving the needle of your life in the right direction. Check out Tim Dennings article on why loneliness is great for you.
The greatest benefit of being misunderstood is having freedom to do what you want which is the ultimate goal in life. It comes down to that. Knowing you can dictate your life how you see fit is more intoxicating than drugs, alcohol or s*x.
Tell me which of these ideas resonated with you and how being misunderstood changed your life in the comments.